Real Stories - Rachel's Story

Rachels's Story

by Rachel,

When I found out I was pregnant, it was not a happy moment for me. I am already the mom to three young children and I was no longer with the baby's father. Added to that, I have a full time job and am studying for my Masters degree. I knew that I was not in a position to parent another child.

Once the shock wore off, I started researching options. I was quite intent on keeping this pregnancy and baby a secret from my friends and family. I just didn't want to have to deal with going public with this situation. So I researched the option of Safe Haven and decided that's what I'd do.

When I gave birth to my daughter, I simply stated that I wanted to exercise the Safe Haven option and left the hospital. I left a note with my name and contact info just in case someone needed to verify my wishes.

Knowing that option as I did, I was stunned when I got a call from DCFS stating that I was abandoning my newborn. I told them I wanted to do a Safe Haven placement. They agreed to close the case. However, a few days later they called back, wanting to interview my other children. I certainly didn't want to put my children through that nor did I want any trouble with DCFS, so I asked if there were any other options. They said I could work with a private adoption agency to place my daughter. I agreed to do this

The hospital called The Cradle for me and I met with a counselor. Heide, my couselor from The Cradle, quickly dispelled the myths I had surrounding working with an agency. You see, I was afraid working with an agecy would be too public for me. I was afraid that I would be forced into an open adoption and I didn't want that. I learned during that first conversation with Heide that I was wrong. The adoption could be as private as I wanted it to be.

So I went home and researched The Cradle's website and paperwork. While I didn't think I would want to have anything to do with the adoptive family, the more I looked at the profiles and considered these prospective parents, the more I liked the idea of selecting the family and maybe even staying in touch. I chose a great couple with whom I have a lot in common. They are atraditional and artsy, just like me. When we met, it just felt so natural to talk with them. They even chose a name for the baby that has special significance to me. It felt like fate I know my daughter will have a good life with them and it will be easy for me to stay connected to that family.

It's been almost a year now since my baby girl was born and I am very happy the Safe Haven option didn't work out for me. I get monthly updates from her adoptive parents and we've met a few times. The fears that I had about being in an open adoption were baseless. Now that I know how it actually works, I couldn't be more pleased with the result.