We met in 2003, on Cyndi’s birthday. We knew we wanted to have a family together very soon after we started dating, and after many years of difficulty and loss, we have come to embrace adoption as a beautiful way to build a family.
Open Families, Hearts, and Minds
Your opinions on openness are important to us. We’re understanding people who want what is best for you and your child. We believe that every child deserves to know their story. We are open to keeping in touch through letters, photos and visits. Whatever level of openness you choose, please know that you would always be spoken of with respect and honor in our home. You will have a cherished place in your child’s life and history.
Anil is Asian-American—his father was born in India and his mother was born in Mississippi—so diversity is important to us as an interracial couple. In fact, part of the reason we chose the neighborhood we just moved to is its diversity. It’s important to honor a child’s heritage and make sure there are friends and grown-ups around who look like them. We will make sure your child is surrounded by people of all different races and ethnicities—from his or her doctors and teachers to his or her playmates. We fully intend to celebrate your child’s racial and ethnic background, and will take extra steps to do so.
Our Child Care Plans
Our goal is for one of us to stay at home with the baby for his or her first 1-3 years, or more,
because the first 3 years are the most important developmentally. As a writer, Cyndi
anticipates being able to take on freelance projects and work from home part time. If we both have to work after the first 3-4 months, we plan to have a babysitter care for our child at home, or share a babysitter with our friends who are also adopting. Day care and preschool are great, but we’re not in a rush to take a child to full-time day care. We make it a point to live simply so we can afford to spend as much time as possible together and so we can guarantee family dinners, bedtime stories and help with homework every night.
What We’re Like
Cyndi works as a writer and Anil works in computer technology. We like to read, take long walks at the Botanic Gardens and beaches, go to restaurants and movies, travel, and see our friends and their kids. We both have book clubs. We both play guitar. We have visited zoos in Washington DC and Atlanta just to see the newborn baby pandas. They are fascinating creatures, and we hope someday to take a trip (with the whole family) to the biggest panda reserve in China. We’re very excited about our first home, which we just bought with raising a child in mind. It’s on a quiet, tree-lined street, and it’s within walking distance of four different parks and the library.
Cyndi’s parents (in Indianapolis) and her sister Leslie (in Boston) are very excited about adoption. Leslie is ready to get on a plane and come help as soon as she’s needed—she can’t wait to help her little sister embrace motherhood! Leslie’s three children consider Cyndi and Anil their “cool” Aunt and Uncle, and twice a year, we all gather at Leslie’s lake house in Maine. Cyndi’s father is the director of a faith-based community health center. Her mom, who stayed home to raise four children also, like Cyndi, writes poetry and songs. Anil is also is the youngest in his family. His brother Ashok lives in Seattle and has a bike shop. Anil’s father came to the United States from India for college, where he met Anil’s mother. Today, they are both professors in Rochester, New York. They do not have any grandchildren and are eager to experience grandparenthood!
The Kind of Parents We Want to Be
We want your child to always be comfortable communicating their feelings in healthy ways. Self esteem is so important. It has to be cultivated from the beginning. That’s why we want to be encouraging and respectful—to honor their experience and foster healthy self-respect and esteem that will mean confidence for all of life’s challenges. Whether it’s help with homework, or the more complex problems of adolescence, we want your child to know that they can always ask for help any time they need it, and if we can’t help—we’ll help them find the resources they need. We will be available and involved.
We also want to be charitable and teach this value. We want your child to feel gratitude for what they have, and we want to teach the importance helping others. Last but not least, we value education, fun and creativity, and connection to people and the world we live in. We will provide fun classes, social events with playmates, and time outdoors, in and out of the city. We want to help your child find their strengths and make the most of their lives—and make sure they have good role models, and a variety of cultural experiences. We know a child needs so much more than just two great parents.
We’re so happy you read our profile. As you can tell, we’re excited to be parents. Every day we imagine how our lives will be different with a child, and all the things we want to experience and learn as a family. Please remember that your opinions on openness are important to us. We wish you peace as you explore your options and find the path that brings you the most comfort.