Becky, a Transracially Placed Adopted Person, Shares Her Story

parent discusses open adoption

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It was of course very unique being biracial in a Caucasian family. My parents worked at this balance of having me join the family and its culture and what I that to offer and recognizing that I had this other search going on in terms of who I was, not just in terms of the adoptive family but perhaps what I was starting to think about who I was in connection to my birth family, in connection to the African American side to me which I just wasn’t exposed to much because I was mostly in a Caucasian world.

Although it was a closed adoption, my parents were very open about talking about adoption. Obviously, I looked different from the family, so it couldn’t be avoided, first of all. And they wouldn’t have avoided it to begin with.

I actually ended up doing a search when I was 18 years old ad I ended up finding part of my birth family. It was more about, ‘I want to have questions answered for myself, I want to understand how I got to where I am now.’ Just a little bit of a story, I didn’t have a story, I needed a story. I had an adoption story, I had a story with my adoptive family but there was this huge piece missing. I needed a little bit more information so I could have a bit of closure. I think I was grieving the loss of what I didn’t know.

I had a family. I was given a good education. I had things accessible to me. I was loved. I couldn’t imagine that I was missing out on something better than that, I just wanted to know a little bit more about where I came from.