I Chose Adoption

I found out I was pregnant when I was 16. Um, so at the time, I was in high school, just going to school. You go through this initial phase of denial, and thinking that, you know, maybe this is a fluke, maybe this isn’t really happening, maybe…and it was real. And it was scary, and it was overwhelming. You sort of come up with a list of all your options, and really, it only comes down to three options. You can parent, adoption, or abortion.

But you kind of always struggle with these decisions, it’s very situational. One day I was thinking, ‘Is abortion the way,’ one day I was thinking, ‘Maybe I can raise the baby,’ and another day I was thinking, ‘I don’t think this is for me at all.’

Going into adoption, I went into it with a very clear sense that adoption was this very forever decision. I think the more that I spent time with Heather, the more that she told me about the Cradle, the more that she explained to me what open adoption is. And the autonomy with still that close connection, I think, my feelings on adoption completely changed from, ‘Is this something to be scared of?’ to ‘This is something to be very welcomed to our lives.’

It’s difficult to go into it saying, ‘I know exactly what I want for my children.’ You want the perfect parents for your child, and you also want to give them everything you know you can’t. Ultimately, I, I, did find a couple that just, they just…I connected with them on paper. And I think it really, truly was meant to be. It was the only couple that I ended up meeting, and are now the parents of my daughter.

Nothing prepares you for what happens after the baby is born. Your emotions completely change, it’s real, the baby is here, and she’s beautiful, and she’s yours, and she looks just like you, and you know, there was never a question of whether or not I was making the right decision, ever, but being able to rely on The Cradle and their knowledge of having dealt with women who have gone through the same exact things, and had questions and had concerns, they really truly, at the end of the day, aside from my parents, were the rock of support.

Adoption is not scary. It is beautiful, and I think that adoption is the most selfless act you can do as a human being in your life. To give life, and then give life again. I am a living example of how it really does work, it really is okay, there is no need for negative connotation, and there’s really no need to say goodbye forever.