Your adoption resource should respect you at all times

Some things to watch for:

While it’s easy for any organization to SAY they respect expectant parents and their decision-making process, many clearly have an adoptive parent focus, profit motives and an adoption agenda.

If on a website you see expectant parents who are considering adoption referred to as “birthparents”, be wary. Calling anyone who has not yet made an adoption decision a birthparent may be an indicator that the organization has an agenda --- they wish for all expectant parents to choose adoption.

An easy way to learn how an agency really feels about expectant parents is to look at how they address adopting parents’ concerns. Look through the Adoptive Parent section of their website and see if you like how expectant parents and their decisions are being portrayed.

If the discussion about placement decisions is portrayed as easy and quick, be wary. The decision to place a child is never going to be easy and you shouldn’t be pressured into making a quick decision. You deserve to work with a resource that understands this and fully respects your decision-making.

If their website is telling adoptive parents that their ”system is extremely successful in creating a comfort level with Birthparents and has proven to be very instrumental in supporting follow through with the adoption plan” you can tell their “support” is there to steer you towards adoption, not support you no matter what you decide.

If you see on a website “It is our goal to find you the right birthmother as quickly as possible,” or our mission is “to help women find courage in choosing adoption,” you should see red flags. What if you aren’t “the right birthmother” or aren’t 100% sure about adoption? How will you be treated??? These statements are signs that they have an adoption agenda.

Even if you are very clearly set on making an adoption plan, your decision should never be taken for granted or pressured. It is common for a woman to have a change of heart once her baby is born. You should NEVER feel like your adoption agency will be disappointed if you ultimately choose to parent. They truly should support you no matter what you decide.
Don’t let yourself be relegated to a position of someone who cannot make an informed decision for herself. Adoption has come a LONG way recently, primarily because expectant parents are no longer passive participants but, rather, very active decision-makers.

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