Adoption or not?, Older couple adopting Options

[hopeful2]

I'll be turning 46 this week, my husband and I have been married for 17 years, and have no children, this topic keeps popping up, but, I am unsure about adopting becuase of my age. I think about about how old I am. I want to see him or her grow up get married, and see thier kids. At 46 to start the process, and IF I'm so luck to be approved, what 2 years down. that will make me 2 years older. I want to know if there is anyone out there that went through the same fears, doubts questions as I am now. My husband is totally supportive, and in his heart he does not want me to regret anything, like missing out on raising a child.

Confused not sure what to do..

JoMari06, I was 39 years old and my husband was 42 when we adopted our little guy as a baby. I still have thoughts such as yours about being a certain age when our son is 18 years old, etc.

How strong is your "want" to become a parent? Do you feel you are ready to be a parent at this stage of your life? In my opinion it's your responsibility and maturity coming through when you think of such questions - but that's a good thing! It shows you are thinking about your situation in the future and not just jumping into a life-long commitment of raising a child. I think some adoption agencies give 45 years old as a guideline age to adopt (before) because there are certain things that need to be considered (child's age at your retirement, can you provide for this child financially later down the road?)

Have you talked with a Cradle counselor about these issues? Maybe one of them can help you sort out what your concerns are and figure out if adopting is a right choice for you. I'm sure you aren't the first person to have these doubts (I know you are not the only one).

Have you ever considered fostering or adopting an older child or infant opposed to adopting a baby?

[With Love]

I'll be turning 46 this week, my husband and I have been married for 17 years, and have no children, this topic keeps popping up, but, I am unsure about adopting becuase of my age. I think about about how old I am. I want to see him or her grow up get married, and see thier kids. At 46 to start the process, and IF I'm so luck to be approved, what 2 years down. that will make me 2 years older. I want to know if there is anyone out there that went through the same fears, doubts questions as I am now. My husband is totally supportive, and in his heart he does not want me to regret anything, like missing out on raising a child.

Confused not sure what to do..

We took placement of our first child 2 days after my husband turned 40. It’s now almost three years later and we’re waiting for our second child. My sister-in-law and her husband brought home their baby at 44 and 67 respectively.

The way I see it, based on what you say you are concerned about, there are two important things to consider. First, do you take care of yourself physically? I’m not asking if you could run a marathon before the end of the summer, just if you pay attention to your health in a reasonably appropriate way. Once you have a little one at home, he or she will be your focus and you’ll have to make time to keep taking care of you so you have the best possible chance of seeing your grandbabies grow – and remember it’s never too late to change any bad habits if you need to and want to. Second, how old do you feel? Babies are fun to cuddle, enjoy tummy time with on the floor, or read books to while rocking in their favorite chair. But they grow into toddlers who have energy to spare and love to run and play and run and climb, and oh yeah, did I mention run (that’s just my son; another parent may have an entirely different experience). If you plan your days well and take advantage of all the child friendly activities and events out there, you can have a wonderful time together where your child and you get to experience many new and exciting things.

As for the paperwork process, it can go as fast or slow as you want it to, sure there are some requirements that are date restrictive, but most of it is up to you to set the pace. The paperwork for our first adoption took us 11 months because we switched from international to the domestic program and needed to take some additional classes and we took extra time on our family letters. The paperwork this time around took us just under 2 months, granted we didn’t have as many courses to take and we already had family letters to build on.

You may find attending an information meeting and talking to a counselor to be a great place to start answering some of your questions and calming some of your fears. In the end, you need to listen equally to your mind and your heart. Life is full of the what ifs – thinking about your age and how old you may be when your child goes off to school, finds their own someone special or has children of their own is only natural and very responsible things to be thinking about. Your hearts reply to those questions will give you the answers you’re looking for.

What ever you decide, best of luck to you.
With Love

[JoMari06]

I'll be turning 46 this week, my husband and I have been married for 17 years, and have no children, this topic keeps popping up, but, I am unsure about adopting becuase of my age. I think about about how old I am. I want to see him or her grow up get married, and see thier kids. At 46 to start the process, and IF I'm so luck to be approved, what 2 years down. that will make me 2 years older. I want to know if there is anyone out there that went through the same fears, doubts questions as I am now. My husband is totally supportive, and in his heart he does not want me to regret anything, like missing out on raising a child.

Confused not sure what to do..