What is open adoption?

There isn’t one definition of openness in adoption, it is a matter of choices.

But some key pieces involve selecting the family based on what’s important to you; meeting them in what The Cradle calls a match meeting; and, coming up with a plan to stay in contact. Your counselor will help guide and support you throughout this process.

Some may not feel ready for contact with adopting parents or an open adoption.  We will inform you about how that works, but it's your choice.  We want you to know that all of our adopting parents are ready for contact from birthparents.  So if you later decide you would like to contact them, we can help you connect.

Some birth and adoptive families choose to stay in touch after placement through emails, texts or phone calls.  Others arrange for occasional visits.  And like any relationship, connections between birth and adoptive families change over time.

We believe open adoption has many benefits. It lets you:

  • explain to your child that you love him and why you chose adoption
  • see for yourself that your child is safe and loved in the home your chose for him
  • answer questions about you and your family
  • give your child a clearer sense of who they are and where they come from

We know it is hard.

It may be hard to see your child at first. That’s natural. Yet over time birthparents tell us how happy they are that they chose to have a relationship with the adoptive family. With an open adoption you can see for yourself how your decision has allowed your child to grow up and thrive in the family setting you chose for them.

We work with you to create a plan.

There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to open adoption. Each plan is unique and built on trust and mutual respect. In  most states, including Illinois, open adoption is not legally enforceable. Under the guidance of your Cradle counselor, you and the adoptive family will come up with a plan that works best for all. If at any time you lose touch with the family or need some help with the relationship, we can help you reconnect.

Annette has two daughters, both through open adoption

In the video on this page, Annette shares her thoughts on her two open adoption relationships.

Even though our levels of openness are different with the two girls, I feel both of the birth moms are part of our family. They feel like sisters to me. We met Kelsey’s birth mom Stephanie when she was seven months pregnant. Before our match meeting we were scared to death. When we first walked in and met her, everything just melted away. Here was a person who was just as scared, probably way more so than we were, and [she was] vulnerable and going through some big time decisions and choices, and we instantly connected. After Kelsey was born, we continued visits and phone calls and email and talking and the relationship grew and grew from there.