The Cradle Blog

5 Reasons It's OK to Ask Us for Help

You built your family through The Cradle. Now, a few years later, you could use some parenting support – some guidance. But you’re afraid to come back to us. You’re worried we’ll think we made a mistake and chose the wrong people to be parents. There are many reasons why that just isn’t the case. Adoption Therapists Judy Stigger and Dori Fujii give us the top 5.

1. Parenting is not easy.

Maybe all kids act like this – I’m sure I’m overreacting.

Everyone has doubts about being a parent, or at least about being a good parent. Reaching out for help can be hard. We know that many times you’re concerned you’re overreacting. No one will ask you “what did you do wrong?” and you’ll never have to explain that you never thought you’d need help.

2. Adoption can make growing up and parenting more complicated

We took all the classes; we’ve done what we’re supposed to do …….

Life happens: normal developmental challenges, school transitions, relationships with birth families, a loss in the family, maybe even divorce. Adoption adds a layer of complexity to all of those events. No classes, books or training can fully prepare families for the unique challenges of parenting their particular child. Our goal is to help you nourish your child’s strengths, identify their needs and support you in discovering what is best in them and for them.

3. There really are no perfect parents!

I’m going to have to explain what went wrong and I don’t even know what went wrong.

When you went home with your baby, we never expected that you would be perfect parents. We made sure you were resilient and a good resource for your child. In fact, we were confident that you knew how to draw upon support systems and that you would seek out help if you needed it. We know that it really does take a village to raise a child…and that some villages need to be larger than others.

4. We’re not going to judge you.

They’re going to think they made a mistake……

Therapy is not about criticizing. We’re here to help you build on your strengths…..or to help you rediscover your strengths if parenting as left you feeling discouraged. We have a wealth of resources, the collective experience of those who came before you and expertise specifically in adoption. We’re here to help you problem solve, brain storm and connect with resources, not to judge you.

5. We’re here to support you…always

Once we took her home, we considered The Cradle a place to visit and a place to build new families – not to help ours.

Adoption is not a transaction or a single moment in time. It’s the beginning of lifelong conversations, learning and discovering. We have a big toolbox of resources– counseling is just one of them. Adoption lasts a lifetime and we’re here to support you.

If you'd like to discuss your family's specific situation with one of our therapists, we would be happy to help. You can request an appointment through our online form or by calling us at 847-733-3225.