The Cradle Blog

Finding All Your Roots....Why It May Not Be "easier than you think"

Just saw this question in a popular advice column Ask Amy and had to add our 2 cents. 

Dear Amy, 
Thank you for answering T.V. question about adoption and birth family. It's such an important topic.
I agree with your suggestion to T.V. that they should expect that their mother has given as much information as she has or feels comfortable sharing. It was also really important of you to acknowledge that Jane, the adopted person, is naturally curious and entitled to search for as much information as is available on her birth father. 
But the idea that finding this man "may be easier than you think" is likely an over statement. It is true that Jane may have access to her original birth certificate, depending on the state in which she was born. But it is actually unlikely that her birth father will be listed on a birth certificate from that era, given that her birth mother wasn't married to him.   
I would encourage Jane to contact the agency that helped facilitate her adoption. They may have more information and may even be able to help with the search. The agency may also be a great source of support to Jane even if the outcome is that she will never know her birth father's identity. 

Nina Friedman
Post adoption counselor
The Cradle